OuBaPo experiment: Waves of Fear

This post has been inspired by Comixminx’s recent post on OuBaPo. In this experiment, I have reworked the dialogue in part one of Waves of Fear to follow this premise: suppose, instead of cowardice, everyone thinks Clare panicked in the cave because it has a reputation for being cursed by a witch, and now that curse has been inflicted on Clare? The reworking is below, followed by the original.

Waves of Fear 1a reworkWaves of Fear 1b reworkWaves of Fear 1c reworkWaves of Fear 1d rework

 

 

 

Waves of Fear 1aWaves of Fear 1bWaves of Fear 1cWaves of Fear 1d

 

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10 thoughts on “OuBaPo experiment: Waves of Fear

  1. Excellent, great to see this! I am having some difficulties enlarging it enough to read the text though – will try on another screen and see if I can read it better. PS did you mean to set this as Private?

    1. I reworked some of the text to hopefully make it easier to read. I had made it private as I was not fully satisfied with the first round. But now it is public.

      1. Much better, I agree. And yes, re-writing it as a witch hunt story would work! I assume Clare would still be claustrophobic, but the reason for her being shunned would be a modern-day witch fear? Her dad leaps straight into believing the witch curse, but that is not far different from the way he immediately starts to turn against her, of course.

        1. Yes, claustrophobia is still the culprit. In fact I have given it an origin in the reworking. The original established there was a precondition before the cave attack, but not why it developed.

    1. Had another shot at the text. I think it’s all right this time. I now reckon the font Comics sans regular, and text in All Caps, is the way to go.

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