Category Archives: Spoof

25 Things You May (or May Not) Have Noticed in Girls’ Comics: Volume 3

We’ve had two instalments of “25 Things You May (or May Not) Have Noticed in Girls’ Comics”. You know, the ones that start with:

“We have all noticed certain things in girls’ serials. Things about plot, character and setting that always seem to crop up and we comment on them a lot. Then again, there are other things about plot, character and setting that always crop up as well, but we hardly even notice them. At least, not until someone else points them out.”

Well, here we are again, with:

25 Things You May (or May Not) Have Noticed in Girls’ Comics: Volume 3

 

1: We get plenty of serials with spooky moggies…

Cat
Image credit: “Cat!”, M&J, 1991.

 

2: … but not many with spooky doggies.

Whistle and I'll Come..
Image credit: “Whistle and I’ll Come…” Misty 1978-79.

 

3: Antagonists who trick protagonists into signing contracts don’t make sure they are legally valid.

The Stables Slave

Image credit: “The Stables Slave”, Tammy 1972-73.

 

4: When you count on something, there’s always something you didn’t count on…

Bad Luck Barbara
Image credit: “Bad Luck Barbara”, Mandy 1985.

 

5: We all laud the one true friend who stands by the unfortunate protagonist through thick and thin…

Move Over, Maria
Image credit: “Move Over, Maria”, Bunty 1994.

 

6: … yet we all wonder why the hell the true friend sticks by the protagonist when she’s a pain in the butt and nobody else likes her!

Snobby Shirl the Shoeshine Girl!
Image credit: “Snobby Shirl the Shoeshine Girl!”, Jinty 1976.

 

7: The main villain suddenly reforms if they cross an even bigger villain.

Sadie in the Sticks
Image credit: “Sadie in the Sticks”, Tammy & June 1974.

 

8: Parents with a problem child seem to think a schoolgirl and change of scene will be the instant magic cure.

Be Nice To Nancy!
Image credit: “Be Nice To Nancy!”, Judy 1989-1990.

 

9: We don’t get many girls’ serials where the main antagonist is a boy.

 

bullied
Image credit: “Bullied!”, M&J 1996.

10: So often is a magic object more trouble than it’s worth, even if it does have its uses.

Topsy Turvey
Image credit: “Topsy Turvey”, Mandy 1985.

 

11: Aliens with advanced science often have poor scientific methods.

The Human Zoo
Image credit: “The Human Zoo”, Jinty 1978-79.

 

12: About 99% of the time, protagonists/antagonists out for revenge find out they were mistaken.

Down with St Desmonds
Image credit: “Down with St Desmond’s!”, Bunty 1977-78.

 

13: The plot always sets you up to beware of girls who look so sweet and angelic you could use them for artificial sweeteners.

Angela Angel-Face
Image credit: “Angela Angel-Face”, Jinty 1980.

 

14: The problem in a dystopian world of the future is nothing the 20th century can’t fix.

Trixie of 2087
Image credit: “Trixie of 2087”, Debbie PSL #107, 1987.

 

15: Nobody but the protagonist seems to act if an animal is being mistreated until the final episode.

Olympia Jones
Image credit: “Olympia Jones”, Tammy 1976-1977.

 

16: An award, prize or big win always turns out to be a jinx – unless it’s won at the end of the story.

The £100,000 headache
Image credit: “The £100,000 Headache”, Debbie PSL #33, 1980.

 

17: They never let you get away with deception, even if your reasons for it are sympathetic/noble.

Ashamed-of-Her-Mum-5
Image credit: “Ashamed of Her Mum”, Debbie PSL #100, 1986.

 

18: There are plenty of girls’ serials with bully teachers…

Helen-1
Image credit: “Hard Times for Helen”, Judy 1984-85.

 

19: … but not many with bullied teachers.

Patsy on the Warpath
Image credit: “Patsy on the Warpath”, June 1969.

 

20: So often everyone seems to conveniently lose all memory of something weird happening except the protagonist and all trace of it disappears at the end of the story – even when there is no reason for it.

Who is Astra?
Image credit: “Who is Astra?”, Mandy PSL #62 (and #211), 1983.

 

21: Loads of girls’ serials are set in World War II…

 

Catch-the-Cat-5a
Image credit: “Catch the Cat!”, Bunty 1976.

 

22: … but few set in World War I.

For the Love of Lucy
Image credit: “For the Love of Lucy”, Diana 1978.

 

23: Beware of sweet-talking ladies who offer to take poor homeless orphans under their wing.

Slaves of the Teasets
Image credit: “Slaves of the Teasets”, Bunty PSL #292 (and #438), 1987.

 

24: Somebody does not listen to warnings when they should have…

Minnie-7
Image credit: “Minnie the Meanie”, Judy 1982.

 

25: … with predictable results to shape the rest of the story.

Minnie-5
Image credit: “Minnie the Meanie”, Judy 1982.

25 Things You May (or May Not) Have Noticed in Girls’ Comics: Volume 2

In our previous blog entry we listed 25 Things You May (or May Not) Have Noticed in Girls’ Comics. You know, the one that went:

“We have all noticed certain things in girls’ serials. Things about plot, character and setting that always seem to crop up and we comment on them a lot. Then again, there are other things about plot, character and setting that always crop up as well, but we hardly even notice them. At least, not until someone else points them out.”

But it doesn’t end at 25. Oh no, you wouldn’t expect that, would you? No, of course not! Now we present:

25 Things You May (or May Not) Have Noticed in Girls’ Comics: Volume 2

 

1: Parents fail to stand up for themselves at the worst moments… and with the worst consequences.

Down with St Desmonds 1
Image credit: “Down with St Desmond’s!”, Bunty 1977-78.

2: The lengths overprotective parents go to to protect their offspring are so ridiculous they’re laughable – yet the consequences are not.

Namby Pamby
Image credit: “Namby Pamby”, Tammy 1983.

 

3: If all else fails, bring in a deus ex machina to redeem the mess the protagonist is in.

Down with St Desmonds 2
Image credit: “Down with St Desmond’s”, Bunty 1977-78.

 

4: Protagonists making claims of harassment often turn out to be faking the whole thing…

Pam of Pond Hill 3
Image credit: “Pam of Pond Hill”, Tammy & Princess 1984.

 

5: … yet real harassment/ bullying often seems to go unnoticed by those in authority.

Tears of a Clown 1
Image credit: “Tears of a Clown”, Jinty 1980.

 

6: We are surprised if the school tries to sort out a bullying situation before the end of the story…

They Call Me a Coward
Image credit: “They Call Me a Coward!”, June 1971.

 

7: … but we aren’t at all surprised if they sort it out at the end of the story.

Pam of Pond Hill 2
Image credit: “Pam of Pond Hill”, Tammy 1983.

 

8: Schemers plotting to get rid of someone keep failing to do so, no matter how much they discredit them (except when they are required to temporarily succeed before being found out).

That Bad Bettina
Image credit: “That Bad Bettina!”, Mandy 1985.

 

9: Parents never listen to warnings that something weird’s about to strike the family.

The Sentinels 1
Image credit: “The Sentinels”, Misty 1978.

 

10: Guess who cops the worst of it.

The Sentinels 2
Image credit: “The Sentinels” Misty 1978.

 

11: We get lots of serials about World War II and fighting the Nazis – but it’s rare to see Hitler in any size, shape or form.

Worlds Apart 3
Image credit: “Worlds Apart”, Jinty 1981.

 

12: Bodging could have some pretty funny results.

Sharon's Shadow
Image credit: “Sharon’s Shadow”, Tammy annual 1983.

 

 

13: For some reason we always know when parents have picked the wrong person to put in charge of their daughter while they are away… which seems to happen quite a lot.

Tina's Telly Mum 1
Image credit: “Tina’s Telly Mum”, Tammy & Misty 1980.

 

14: Witches with pointy hats and broomsticks often seem to be played sympathetically or for humour…

Worlds Apart 4
Image credit: “Worlds Apart”, Jinty 1981.

 

15: … while witches who look like crones or beautiful but sinister women  are played for the chills.

painting6
Image credit: “The Painting”, Bunty 1989-90.

 

16: Ordinary antagonists aren’t killed off much.

Katie on Thin Ice 1
Image credit: “Katie on Thin Ice”, Tammy 1977.

17: Supernatural/ SF ones are.

electra-of-the-evil-eye-4
Image credit: “Electra of the Evil Eye”, Bunty 1980.

 

18: We are very surprised if a parent problem is resolved by the daughter making her parent/parents simply see sense.

Ill-Never-Forgive-You-4
Image credit: “I’ll Never Forgive You!”, Bunty 1989.

19: We are not surprised when the parent/parents see sense after the daughter runs off… or gets run over.

B&W World of Shirley Grey 2
Image credit: “The Black and White World of Shirley Grey”, Tammy 1981.

 

20: The only time the protagonist gets acquitted at trial is when her pal arrives at the very last minute with the evidence that will clear her.

Olympia Jones 1
Image credit: “Olympia Jones”, Tammy 1976-1977.

 

21: In regular strips, brothers are a pain in the ass.

Tansy of Jubilee Street
Image credit: “Tansy of Jubilee Street”, Tammy & Jinty, 1982.

 

22: It’s unusual to have a serial starring a plump/ plain protagonist outside of an “ugly duckling” serial…

willa-will-dance-3
Image credit: “Willa Will Dance”, Debbie 1974

 

23: … or a humour strip where the protagonist doesn’t give a s*** about the way she is!

Bessie Bunter
Image credit: “Bessie Bunter”, June.

24: People just say the protagonist is not right in the head when she tries to convince them of something…

End of the Line
Image credit: “End of the Line”, Misty 1978.

 

25: … but when she really is not right in the head they don’t realise it.

Waves of Fear 1
Image credit: “Waves of Fear”, Jinty 1979

 

 

 

25 Things You May (or May Not) Have Noticed in Girls’ Comics

We have all noticed certain things in girls’ serials. Things about plot, character and setting that always seem to crop up and we comment on them a lot. Then again, there are other things about plot, character and setting that always crop up as well, but we hardly even notice them. At least, not until someone else points them out. To give you the idea of what we mean, we present:

25 Things You May (or May Not) Have Noticed in Girls’ Comics

1: The protagonist is always an only child, except when the plot requires her to have siblings.

Pam of Pond Hill 1
Image credit: “Pam of Pond Hill”, Tammy 1984

 

2: The protagonist endures even the worst abuse imaginable rather than upset dear old mummy and daddy by telling them what’s going on.

Witch
Image credit: “Witch!”, Bunty 1991.

 

3: Problem parents always make the wrong assumptions about their daughter until the end of the story.

Hard Times for Helen
Image credit: “Hard Times for Helen”, Judy 1984-85

 

4: If the daughter speaks out against it, it’s not until the climax.

Hard Times for Helen 1
Image credit: “Hard Times for Helen”, Judy 1984-85.

 

5: Parents sense they have a problem with their daughter – but don’t do anything about it except shout the house down.

Waves of Fear 1
Image credit: “Waves of Fear”, Jinty 1979.

 

6: And then they discover they handled it all wrong – but not before it’s led to something totally preventable.

 

Waves of Fear 2
Image credit: “Waves of Fear”, Jinty 1979.

 

7: The protagonist doesn’t write to a problem page for help, though there are plenty of them in girls’ comics.

Write to Kim
Image credit: Problem page, Girl (second series), 1981.

 

8: The order and favourite story coupons they always tell you to fill out ruin the comic for future collectors because they leave holes in it.

Favourite story coupon
Favourite story coupon, Tammy 1981.

 

 

9: (Except when the plot allows it), child welfare’s never around when you really need ’em…

Bella at the Bar 1
Image credit: “Bella at the Bar”, Tammy 1974.

 

 

10: …but alway stick their noses in when you least want ’em.

Bella at the Bar 2
Image credit: “Bella at the Bar”, Tammy 1974.

 

11: No boys in girls’ adventures, though men are allowed…

The Human Zoo 3
Image credit: “The Human Zoo”, Jinty 1978-79.

 

12: …except very young boys, mostly kid brothers.

Somewhere over the Rainbow
Image credit: “Somewhere over the Rainbow”, Jinty 1978-79.

 

13: A lot of exonerations are contrived because we simply must have happy endings.

B&W World of Shirley Grey
Image credit: “The Black and White World of Shirley Grey”, Tammy 1981

 

14: Advanced aliens never developed the know-how that could have saved them – but less advanced humans have.

Human Zoo 2
Image credit: “The Human Zoo”, Jinty, 1978-79.

 

15: Serials about girls sent to reform / special school are either sent unjustly or only need a little toning down…

Merry at Misery House
Image credit: “Merry at Misery House”, Jinty 1974-75.

 

16: …never because they’re utter toerags who really deserve it!

Be Nice to Nancy
Image credit: “Be Nice to Nancy!”, Judy 1989-1990

 

17: The weather’s always fine, except when the plot demands otherwise.

Human Zoo 1
Image credit: “The Human Zoo”, Jinty 1978-79.

 

18: Historical accuracy is not a strong point in girls’ comics.

Sit It Out, Sheri
Image credit: “Sit It Out, Sheri”, Tammy 1976.

 

19: Protagonists / antagonists don’t do their homework before they embark on an evil campaign – which would have told them it was a complete waste of time.

Witch 2
Image credit: “Witch!”, Bunty 1991.

 

20: No boys in sight, no matter what world you land in.

Worlds Apart 1
Image credit: “Worlds Apart”, Jinty, 1981.

 

21: Ye Editor does not pick up all the goofs – but we do.

The Sentinels
“The Sentinels”, Misty 1978.

 

22: We groan at how so many villains get off too lightly at the end of the story!

Spartan School
Image credit: “The Four Friends at Spartan School”, Tammy 1971-1972.

 

23: In serials about difficult mother-daughter relationships, there’s never a father who could intervene.

No Haven for Hayley
Image credit: “No Haven for Hayley”, Tammy 1981.

 

24: In serials about a shrinking parent, it’s always the mother.

mum-1024x356
Image credit: “Mary’s Mini Mum”, M&J, 1991.

 

25: Protagonists don’t realise the obvious until it’s pointed out to them.

Make Believe Mandy
Image credit: “Make-Believe Mandy”, Jinty 1974.