Abridging and Editing: Waves of Fear vs Moments of Terror

There has been discussion on this blog lately in regard to reworking of stories and the effects that changing and editing reprint material can have on a story.  This post will look at one example in particular – “Waves of Fear” – which will be examined side-by-side against its reprint as “Moments of Terror” in Girl Picture Library #11. It is very interesting to compare the original version of this story with its reprint, which was abridged to fit into a 64-page booklet. In order to make the accommodation, the editors made a key alteration that changed how the story was resolved.

So how much did the editing change the story from its original, and how do the two versions compare? Both versions appear below, with the original episode followed by its equivalent in the Girl Library reprint, and explanations of the differences between the two versions. These may be seen when the mouse is passed over the images. Please note that not all images will explain differences. Images can be enlarged by clicking on them.

No copyright infringement intended.

 

 

Panels intact in the reprint

Panels are intact in the reprint.,

Panels are intact in the reprint, but changed to a diagonal slant.

Panels 6 & 7 are deleted in the Girl Library reprint.

The first panel is taken from episode 2, page 2, panel 2 of the original.

The panels have been repositioned on diagonal slants.

The panels have been repositioned on diagonal slants.

The last panel is panel 1, page 1, episode 2 of the original.

Panels intact in the reprint.

Panels 6 & 7 are deleted in the reprint.

Panels 1, 7 & 9 are deleted in the reprint.

The panels showing the flashback of the panic in the cave have been deleted. This gives the impression that it is just the claustrophobia the hall induces on Clare that is making her panic.

The panels showing the girls’ catty reactions to Clare’s conduct have been deleted, which reduces their cruelty.

The dialogue in panel 3 has been replaced by the dialogue from panel 9, page 3, episode 2 of the original, because the reprint deleted the material the original text referred to.

 

This whole page has been deleted in the reprint. This and a second deletion remove the animosity of the townsfolk towards Clare. So the reprint gives the impression that the campaign against Clare was exclusively confined to the school.

The original dialogue in panel 1 had Clare realising that Rachel’s mother was spreading the word about her ‘cowardice’ at the market. As the related material has been deleted, it has been replaced with the dialogue from the last panel in episode 2. Panels 8 & 9 are also deleted in the reprint, reducing the graphics of Clare’s illness.

The page is intact in the reprint

In the original, Clare has a further claustrophobia attack when she tries the stairs next, but it is absent here.

The reprint gives the impression that Clare ran outside straight from the lift, because it deletes Clare’s failed attempt to try the stairs.

This whole page has been deleted in the reprint.

Intact in the reprint.

Panel 5 is deleted in the reprint.

The shift of scene between panels 1 & 2 are a bit jarring because the material between them has been deleted. This includes the panels that show Clare’s decision to return to the cave, which would explain the shift in scene.

 

Panel 1 is deleted in the reprint.

Panels 7 & 9 are deleted in the reprint, and panel 8 is resized to remove Miss Heath. Also, the speech bubble becomes a thought bubble.

Panel 1 is deleted in the reprint to remove Miss Heath. The deletion of Miss Heath here removes one key turning point in the story – Miss Heath seeing Clare during one of her attacks and having the insight to realise something is wrong.

Panels 1-5 are deleted in the reprint. This removes some of the parents’ harshness, but also the panel where Miss Heath catches up with Clare.

Panels 6-8 are deleted in the reprint

Panels 2-4 are deleted in the reprint, which leaves it up to the readers’ imagination as to why Jean was in the changing room while Clare was having her attack. Panel 8 is also removed.

Panels 4-7 are deleted in the reprint.

Panels 1-8 are deleted in the reprint.

Panels 6-7 are deleted in the reprint, which leaves a plot error in the reprint: how did the girls know about Rachel’s parents not allowing her to return unless Clare was expelled? It also removes the panel that suggests Clare had inkling of plotting against her.

The original panel that came before panel 3 on this page has been deleted, which makes the sudden appearance of the Mitchell parents a bit jarring and lacking flow.

Panel 3 is given more emphasis here than in the original because of the way it is placed on the page.

The page deletes the panel that explains that the girls found out about the situation between the Mitchell parents and the headmistress. It leaves a plot weakness in the reprint.

This whole page is deleted in the reprint.

This whole page is deleted in the reprint.

Panels 1 & 2 are deleted in the reprint. Panel 5 is also deleted, which explains what Clare means by the “other cave” and how much the bullies’ attack on her in the cave has intensified her illness.

The flashback to the attack in the cave that followed panel 2 in the original has been deleted, which makes it unclear as to what Clare means by “like that other cave”.

 

Panels 5 & 6 are deleted in the reprint.

Panels 1-7 are deleted in the reprint.

The text box in panel 4 is deleted in the reprint. Panels 6-8 are deleted in the reprint. Panel 5 is modified to remove Miss Heath.

Panel 3 has been modified to delete Miss Heath. A paste-up of Clare from panel 1, page 1, episode 10 has been used to replace the original, which showed Clare being comforted by Miss Heath.

Panel 1 is deleted in the reprint, though a paste-up of Clare from this panel is used on the last panel of the previous page. Panel 3 is deleted in the reprint, but its dialogue is used in the reprint of panel 2. But in the reprint, the “No!” Mr Harvey says before he says “Now, good night” is deleted.

This whole page is deleted in the reprint.

This whole page is deleted in the reprint.

Panel 1 uses the dialogue from panel 3 of the original, and not its original text. This is because the original dialogue was on the topic of Miss Heath, who was deleted from the reprint. But the “No!” Mr Harvey says before he says “Now, good night” has been deleted. The space where the “No!” was is still visible.

Four pages of the original are cut out between panels 1&2.

This whole page is deleted in the reprint.

This whole page is deleted in the reprint.

This page stays intact in the reprint.

The line “The business at the club was the final straw” makes no sense because the reprint deleted the orienteering club scenes in the original.

Panels are intact in the reprint.

Panels 4-8 are modified in the reprint to remove Miss Heath.

Panels are intact in the reprint.

In panel 1, Mrs Harvey’s hand indicates the empty space where Miss Heath was in the original. Text bubbles have also been modified. Rachel says “I think you should both listen” instead of “you should all listen”, and Mrs Harvey’s speech bubble is changed to remove “Oh, this is Priscilla, the secretary of the orienteering club Clare joined.” In panel 2, Mrs Harvey’s legs are redrawn to fill in the space where Miss Heath was. In panel 3, Miss Heath is redrawn as Mrs Harvey.

In panel 2, Miss Heath is redrawn as Mrs Harvey. In the original, she stood behind Mr Harvey.

Panels 3 & 6 are deleted in the reprint. Miss Heath is deleted from panel 2 in the reprint.

Panel 1 is resized to remove Miss Heath, who stood beside the headmistress in the original.

In panel 1, Miss Heath is deleted and her speech bubble given to Mr Harvey.

Panel 2 deletes the text box that says “Rising panic threatened to engulf Clare, but she battled on”.

Panel 1 deletes Miss Heath.

The final text box deletes the line “just as she made orienteering champion”.